For the last nine months I have been living, working and adjusting to life in Orlando with more than a little difficulty. Working for a small marketing agency provides me lots of opportunities for growth, advancement and travel. While I thoroughly enjoy life on the road, it can make life at home its own special brand of hell. From day one I was bombarded with a heavy travel schedule including lots of time in the city I previously called home, Atlanta. This said, I never took the time to tap into life in Orlando and now It has become a real problem. Now that my travel schedule has slowed down and work hours are confined to the weekdays (for a while) I find myself bored and lacking local acquaintances.
The sensible level-headed side of me says, "okay, Holly just go out and meet some people". [side note: It's a shame that this rational person only exists in my head and never translates into real life.] My immediate rebuttal is always "BY MYSELF?!?!" This constant back and forth with myself about venturing out alone led me to the very obvious question...Why do women travel in packs? No seriously, why do we feel like we must activate the buddy system in 95.5% of life's situations while men more often than not have NO problem going out alone? It's nothing to see a guy alone at a bar, club or any social environment, seeing a woman do this is an anomaly and we are even labeled such things as desperate, a free shot and dare I say cougar.
I would venture to say it has everything to do with the way we are socialized. Little girls are taught the 'safety in numbers' mantra while men are taught...? As an adolescent/teenager it was so much easier to get my mother to agree to anything I was proposing as long as I added a few familiar names/faces to the equation. So what started out as a successful bargaining tactic has become a crutch in my twenties. How do we get over what I like to refer to as the "homegirl crutch"? How do I unlearn a coping mechanism it has taken almost two decades to perfect? Living sans my "homegirl crutches" (yes I have more than one) has led to some critical self discovery. I've always thought of myself as such an outgoing person, but without my homegirl crutch I am in fact shy and dare I say...timid. To compare myself with my crutches to myself without my homegirls would be like comparing a super hero to a mere mortal. I quake at the sight "Super" Holly's shadow.
The challenge now is to regain all the things I love about "Super" Holly without the presence of my lovely "homegirl crutches". I'm pretty sure this is much easier said than done but I'm going to give it a try anyway. Step One: Identifying good places to go or events that pique my interest. Keep an eye open for my adventures in living without my "homegirl crutches" in the series entitled "Lily Pad Party of One?"
Another addition to the "crutch" epidemic---PURSES/BAGS/CLUTCHES! Another thing women are socialized to believe gives them a sense of security. The bigger the bag we carry the safer we feel. Let's stop being bag ladies! I've been opting not to carry a purse for a few days, after reading this post, and I must say I feel liberated. Let's be unbashedly us! Secure, confident, go-getters!
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