Come as you Are???

My grandmother always told me that no matter how much we had, I should always leave the house looking my best. She put a lot of value on presentation and though I have grown to learn that indeed you can not just dress a wolf in sheep's clothing, I have come to value the fine art of dressing for the occasion. I by no means want this to come off as some bourgeoisie tyrade regarding some elistist philosphy on appropriate attire. HOWEVER, it continues to be brought to my attention that dressing for the occasion is still not as common sense as I would like it to be- especially for our young women. I offer this rule of thumb as it was offered to me: Most often, there are 3 distinct occasions we dress for, with some gray areas and outliers. They are the three C's:Church, Club, and Casual.

Church is the umbrella for more discreet interactions where maybe a suit, modest dress or tailored pants would be appropriate. Church covers work and any other professional occasions that do not fall under Casual. In this arena, it is important for ladies to be conscious of the fit and flagrance of their attire. Of course, this is not to say that Church attire cant have any personality, but tasteful is always the way.

Club should NEVER be interchanged with Church. Seems simple enough right? maybe not. The deal is, if you can even remotely consider whatever you are wearing appropriate for a hot, sweaty, and sexy night in the club, you can ABSOLUTELY not consider it for the Church(or whatever other professional occasion that falls under Church umbrella). Club is one of my FAVORITE umbrellas because I love to look hot and show off some of my best assests, but here is the rule ladies: you pick ONE assest to show off. Usually we have our favorite body part that we like to accentuate. If you are baring legs, you don't bare breasts. Its very simple. This makes the critical distinction between "hot 20-something catching a cab on a corner" and "hot 20-something WORKING a corner". Do you catch my drift?

And Casual. While this might seem the most intuitive criterion- it appears that we have taken "go with what you feel" just a bit to far. Can someone please tell me about the phenomenon of pajamas in the public? I mean, seriously this makes absolutely no sense to me. It bothers my grandmother just to see a woman in sweat pants in public, so pajama pants and dare I say it, long johns in the street!? WHERE THEY DO THAT AT!? (Oakland,CA apparently). As I previously stated, usually Casual with few exceptions does not cross over to Club and Church. But what are rules if they cant be broken? In reality there are no absolutes. There are indeed occasions where our chic Casual could very well transition into an evening out or even to the house of the lord (I rocked trouser jeans and a light sweater to service a few Sundays back). But if you are worried about the gray area, generally as a precaution, lets keep the 3 C's separate.

With a defined wardrobe, you will undoubtedly be well received at any occasion and you may even stop catching all of these frogs (romantic, professional, personal). Appearance IS everything- its the first thing that people experience and how they draw their initial visceral assumptions about who you are. It is up to you to open your mouth and affirm or contradict their suspicions.