Saying Goodbye to Ugly [Betty] Holly

Last Wednesday was the series finale of Ugly Betty, a show I began watching a few years ago and quickly became hooked on. For those not familiar, the series followed the rise of Betty Suarez (played by America Farrera), a Latina girl from Queens, through the ranks of the fashion magazine industry. When the series began she was a tacky (to put it nicely) glasses and braces wearing girl with big ideas. As the show came to a close, viewers saw Betty's transformation from an ugly duckling into a beautiful swan speed up dramatically. By the final episode she was stealth, fashionable, sans braces, still wearing glasses but much better looking glasses. The thing that did not change throughout the many years of the show was Betty's kind spirit and morals.During the final scenes of the show I realized what made me feel such an affinity for Betty over the many years: I AM BETTY! (Minus the braces and the tacky dressing... I've always had style.)

I have always been extremeley pale and growing up, I struggled with weight issues, was regarded as the know-it-all in the class and was burdened with 'coke bottle' glasses. The teasing these factors usually cause would have left the normal kid scarred for life or  at least the better part of his/her young adult years. But didn't even realize how the deck was stacked against me until the end of my middle school years. You see, I was always well liked by my peers and had great friends, so I was totally oblivious to my Ugly Betty status. Around eighth or ninth grade my status as the resident Ugly Betty became evident and to defend myself against the torment that most kids in my position might face, I developed a few defense mechanisms.

1.) I got involved in...EVERYTHING. I ran for student council positions, became a leader in clubs, did lots of community service and a bunch other stuff. I thought if I met lots of people and showed how good I was at those things, then people would see Holly and not the fat girl with the glasses. For the most part this strategy worked!

2.) I became really good at making people laugh. I was in no way the class clown, but if the setting was right I could always get the group laughing. This is still pretty true.

3.) I became your favorite person's favorite homegirl. I developed the ability to make people comfortable in their own skin, which in turn made them want to be around me. I listened intently, gave good advice and kept it friendly, never romantic, always friendly.

All in all Ugly Holly, was fun to be around, had a healthy social life and what I lacked in the confidence department, I never let show. When I went away to college Ugly Holly slowly began to fade and Holly in all her lovely glory, began to develop. I lost weight, wore my contacts more and my teeth just kind of straightened themselves out. I felt a little like Cinderella, except I didn't notice the changes, but I can say that the male population did. My defense mechanisms, which were drilled into my psyche really helped me to adapt and generally have never steered me wrong, or so I thought. You see even to this day, I have become so good at being everyone's favorite homegirl that I really don't know how to do anything else. I have recently discovered that what was once an excellent defense mechanism that helped me to cope with the perils of being Ugly Holly is now hindering forward progress of potential romantic interests. I'm reminded of a scene in Jerry Maguire (I think) when all of his past loves were describing him and they continuously repeated one phrase over and over again. "Jerry's great at friendship horrible at intimacy." Is that me? I'm afraid it might be; I'm great at the friendship horrible at the transition into something more.

So now years and years since middle school, as I sat on my couch and said goodbye to my friend Betty Suarez and her days as Ugly Betty, I also decided to say goodbye to Ugly Holly. Holly G. is here and is determined make it out of the friend zone with a little help from my friends and all of you!