Monkey in the Middle

 Monkey in the Middle was by far one of my least favorite childhood games. I'm short and I've always been short so there was never a favorable outcome for me. I would jump and jump but was never quite able to grab the ball as it went back and forth over my head, evading my fingertips a little more with every pass. By the end I would be exhausted and totally over it, ready for a freeze pop and a nap. Lately, I get the feeling I'm in an adult version of Monkey in the Middle with giants throwing the ball back and forth. The two giants are very familiar and we definitely have a love-hate relationship. The giant on my left is my family, they're demanding but give as good as they get. The other giant is work, a crazy beast that demands plenty of my time and energy while only yielding sporatic returns in the grand scheme of things. And then there's the ball, that precious little ball that still alludes my fingertips. The ball is my shrinking personal life and "me" time. I see said personal life go back and forth between my family and my career wishing I could grab it and never share it again. Is anyone else caught in this real life game of Monkey in the Middle? 

As children we are taught that being selfish is wrong. In fact, if word got out that you were the selfish kid you could almost immediately see a decline in play date and birthday party invitations, and who in the WORLD wanted that? No one, so we all put on a brave front and learned to share our favorite toys and covetted snacks to avoid excommunication. However, the older I get the more I begin to think that this rule is slightly antiquated when we hit young adulthood. If there was ever a time to embrace a selfish attitude, the twenties are definitely it. Side Note: This whole theory is null and void if you are the following: a parent, a spouse, a soon-to-be spouse or long term bf/gf, the selfish ship has indeed sailed for you and you have yourself to thank for pulling up the anchor. If none of those titles apply to you, welcome to the World of Selfish!

The twenties (post college especially) is the perfect time for such behavior because of all the obvious reasons, no children, disposeable income, independence from parents, youth and hopefully good looks! I think that we have all been over programmed, especially women, to the don't be selfish station and it's really time to change the channel. On numerous occasions I've fallen in the trap of putting everyone and everything before me resulting in my feeling like the monkey in the middle, with no way to escape. It would be much easier to say no and put myself first if I was super tight with my family and if they hadn't done everything in their power to ensure my successful transition into adulthood, but I am and they did. Work on the other hand...we both need each other and only like each other from time to time. What can I though? You don't work, you don't eat.

Is there a solution? Yeah...balance is HIGHLY overrated. People keep telling me how young I am and that there is plenty of time so I'll apply that here. Balance is highly overrated at this juncture in life. Unfortunately, when we have great people in our lives (family, friends, significant others) and a job that's taking you places keep playing the game, keep jumping for the magic ball of personal time. Every once in a while the giants throwing the ball back and forth will get worn out and you'll have the perfect opportunity to grab the ball. Good luck in your games of Monkey in the Middle...we ALL need it!