Real men give real signs that they really do like YOU
Flip through almost any women's magazine and you will see the list: 10 Ways to Know He Likes You, Top Signs He’s in Love, 25 Reasons He’s Your Man. These lists usually feature some delusional assemblage of relationship banter and foolishness some scorned woman came up with. They are often generic and leave us still wondering what the answers really are. We have all read such lists and asked ourselves, does this guy actually exist? The worst part is that some of us go out expecting to find the man from the checklists and are more than a little disappointed whenever the man we meet falls short.
A few weeks ago, we decided to put women everywhere out of their misery and give them the real signs that a man in his 20s is REALLY feeling YOU. We polled some of the best and brightest of our male friends between the ages of 22-26 to get the scoop. To say we were shocked by the volume of the responses is an understatement As it turns out, if you ask men how they feel (without all the strings and red tape attached), they will spill. And boy did they give us the goods. Below, in no particular order, are the tell-tale signs he is most definitely into you.**
He shares his secrets with you. Secrets are important to any growing relationship. Not keeping them, but sharing them with your partner is critical. If he is really feeling you, he will share the things he holds closest: his fears, the things that make him hurt, and his passions. “Typically, [guys] don't divulge their personal info to just any old chick, mainly because he has no intention in making that stop a permanent one, he's just passing through.” He may share these things through conversation or in other ways. “[If he] asks for you to join him somewhere he is really excited about, something that he is passionate about. He wants to share his real interests with you. He could ask his boys, which would be painless and without pretense- but he asked you because he wants to share this with you.”
He remembers your siblings name and that your favorite color is Aquamarine. One of our guys explained this better than we ever could: "If a guy makes a point to remember things about you [and] If you ain't [expletive], you're probably saying 'He's supposed to be doing that anyway (spoken with the stank voice).' And to a certain degree you're right, but I'm talking about remember things that even your best homegirl might not easily remember. For example, it was this chick that I was soooo into, I made it my business to remember everything she told me, our first date, our first convo (and what we talked about), what she had on when I met her, the first kiss, her best friend, etc. Peep, even to this day, I remember her birthday, middle name, where her family's originally from, her siblings name, what I said to make her smile, what I/she had on when we met, what she ordered on our first date, fav. color, song, basically everything I was told (directly or indirectly)"
He notices you switched to Clean and Clear. He remembers the little things on accident. “If he makes mental note of what you’re allergic to, how you sleep...” these things don't necessarily matter, but they demonstrate that you do! “I remember details such as, you changed face washes or perfume or If I remember obscure stuff that’s small and meaningless that we discussed weeks ago like [and follow up like] 'did your mother ever find her cell phone charger?'"
He hears what you don’t say. We all want a man to listen, but the guys say it’s hearing what you didn't say that matters most. Now we’ll say this- this is a tough one for immature guys, they will take your “Im fine” for face value. But when he is deeply interested in you, he will pick up on when everything isn't okay; even if you say it is. “If I am 'feeling her,' I am listening to what she is NOT SAYING. I am paying attention to her body language, her eagerness-- or lack their of-- when answering intimate questions. I am listening to the way she talks about her family-- and, what she does not say. I am hearing her 'confident talk,' but I am listening to her when she shed lights on her insecurities.”
He can almost always find the time. Don’t be confused, no matter what those other magazines tell you, just because he is into you doesn't mean he drops everything EVERY TIME you call. Our guys are busy with lots of responsibilities, so they say if they fit you in, you’re in. “If I am feeling you, I would make time for you. Hell, after a long busy day, I would see you. ..If I am NOT 'feeling' you, then I would work around my schedule! If I am feeling you, I would bend the schedule. I would take care of my shit-- and, put you into the equation.”
You can call him anytime after 12am and there is a 90% chance he's going to answer. “If you find yourself getting into a rhythm with this guy, he's feeling you. Example, he calls you at the same time everyday, he checks in when he goes out to see if maybe you wanna get up instead, he's always there for emotional or physical support(beezo might need an oil change or something lol), and he's crunker for your 'wins' in life than your mama.” No need to think twice, he's just THAT into you boo!
You know all the homies. “Just like a woman's girlfriends cosign on her potential new guy, it goes the same way with the homies. I GURANTEE you, a guy will not seriously fool with a girl if his closest friends don't approve. In fact, because I know guys, a guy will/won't fool with you contingent upon what his partnas say about you. After our 20s this stuff will probably mean nothing, but for now, its so crucial. Moreover, if you are going out with him and his friends, and their engaging you in a genuine manner or his friends pick at you (note: boys only pick on people they like!), then your dude probably really likes you.”
He kissed you in front of granny. The guys didn't have much to say about the public display of affection (PDA) arena. However the things they did say go beyond the cliché holding hands in public. One mentioned, he goes out in public with you, and you look terrible- he definitely likes you. The general consensus of the group can be summed up with this, “If he’s ready to kiss on you regardless of who's around (even Grandma), then that’s love like a motha!” The point is that they are consistent, and they aren't afraid to show publicly and privately how much they are really feeling you.
Your call log has a frequent visitor. Communication was paramount among the group, but it wasn't about staying in touch as much as how they stayed in touch. There was a clear distinction: phone time means you’re in. The guys were eager to give lots of details on this one. “Peep, a text is quick [stuff]. A [guy] that texts all the time doesn't really wanna know whats good, he's just checking in to see where you at, what you doin, you know, QUICK [Stuff]…However, a call is detailed yet spontaneous conversation. And any guy that has a mama, homegirl, and has had at least one gf knows that. Thus, if he calls you more than he texts, trust he already knows you about to talk his ear off, but hey, he's game.” He added that there is also a difference between, "text me when you get home" and "call me when you get home." Basically, the ratio of calls to texts should greater on the call side, or at least even- He should call as much as he texts. For the heavy texters the guys had this to offer: “If I really like her, she recieves the first and last text of the day.”
He picks up during the game. The game is on and his favorite team is playing or he's out with his boys and doesn't have time to talk; he could just call you back later, but he doesn't. "If he picks up just to let you know he needs to call you back. That’s a big win for you. He could have just pressed the ignore button, but he doesn’t want you to think he isn’t available, and in case you really need something he wants to be there. Once he knows you’re good, he can go back to enjoying the game."
You can't find your favorite do-rag. Why?, because you left it at his house. “I'm telling you, this is realer than you think… if you got [stuff] at his house, like a toothbrush, body spray, earrings, bra, underwear, headwrap, etc., that speaks volumes. Now, notice I didn't say a sleep-shirt, computer, or something like that, because a guy can play that off quick if another chick come through…But those personal [things] being left at the house not only signifies that its big chance that no one else is coming through, its also saying that I like you enough to have you clog my sink with your hair and have my house smelling all girly.”
He’s giving you the corniest lines he’s got. "He is Not Cool Around You! - Trust me, even the lamest guy alive wants to appear smooth in front of a chick that he likes. And the coolest guy, well [expletive], thats what he does. We're trying to impress that girl, we want to say all the right things at the right time and have the meanest "side-game" ever in those moments. But, the woman that messes all that up is the one we like! We can't find our swag for nothing…So, if your guy seems to be the polar opposite of Cassanova when he talks to you, look at as him tapping into his inner shy 4th grader trying to ask the girl who sits in front of him to 'go with him.'" The guys even went on to say if they start doing silly stuff, like writing you a note in crayon, don’t laugh. They are really just showing you how willing they are to look totally foolish. Just for you.
His actions speak louder than his words. Age old truth? Maybe not. "Opening yourself up to potential rejection is tough for dudes. So if he SAYS he likes you AND THEN acts like it- you could definitely be winning." One of the guys told a story about a women he spoke to every morning before entering work and every evening before leaving for six months. He liked the woman so much and didn't know what to say, but one day he mustered up the courage to act on his feelings. Here's what he said and did: "'You know, I gotta be honest, seeing you in the morning and evening is by far the highlight of my day 5 days a week. And to be honest, I really like you and would love to get to know you. Now I know you a woman like you has heard it all, but 6 months is too long for me to let someone like you keep on walking past me and not say anything, so you know what, you ain't even gotta give me 10 digits, just give me 9, i'll figure the last.' She laughed and obliged me. So, the humdinger would be what would I do with it." The lesson is: if a guy lets you know from jump that he likes you, and then follows up with calling within the next 48 hours (not text, call!) and begins to try to build a rapport, he's [expletive] with you.”
He cant wait for you to meet uncle Junebug. If the man wants you to meet his favorite uncle in the future, rest assured you’re something special. Everyone doesn't get to go home to meet the family and the he doesn't engage 'the jump' in talk about the future. “If he talks about his future..and it includes you- I'd say this is a sure sign that a guy likes you. The summer time is coming up. Lots of family BBQs wait in the wings. It could be something as small as 'Wait to you meet my Uncle Junebug, he's a damn fool.' Thats big. But its not as simple as meeting the parents. From talking about career plans to moving to the same city, its huge if he is talking it up with you. He is sharing his dreams with you because he's thought about the future, and most likely wants you to be apart of it."
You told him to be there at 5, and he’s there at 4:15. Ladies please don’t walk around telling your man he has to be everywhere 45 minutes early, but our guys noted that if he ever shows up to an event or function of yours noticeably early, he is definitely feeling you. The premise is that he values the things that are important to you. Have your first big speech at the company gala or performance for that dance class you've been taking? He is there early to (1) make sure he has you if you need anything and (2) that you know he was in fact there and on time. He wants you to know that you can depend on him, and if he gives you that kind of time, know that he’s very serious.
He learns about what you do. He’s a teacher, you love law. But that doesn't mean he doesn't know exactly what an apophasis is. Why? because he’s interested in you and by virtue, what interests you, what you do, and what makes you happy. Furthermore, he wants to share in the things you like. Even if he doesn't enjoy HGTV- he will endure through because he knows it makes you happy. “If I am 'feeling you,' I am more than willing to do things that you like. I would suffer through some boring activities-- so, I know your happy. I would take an interest in what you like.” Another guy noted: “If I do things with you I hate, i.e. go to musicals, watch ABDC. If I go out of my way to learn or understand something about you, what you love, what you do, I really like you.”
He thinks your commitment to youth is incredible. One of our friends said, if “He randomly compliments you about things (other than your physical appearance) that amaze him” he definitely likes you. He loves that you want to change the community or that he enjoys the nerdy side of you that likes collecting stamps.
We thought these were funny and could be supplementary to the things listed above.
Runner’s up:
"If I knowingly and purposefully kick it with you during your lady days..."
"When I argue with you for a long time. If I don't give a [expletive] we aren't arguing- I'm hanging up"
"If he shops with you and doesn't just give stock responses" <--he could just be gay, so watch it!
"If you critique what I'm wearing and I change it."
"I don't look at the bill before I pay it" <--he might just be ballin'
"If he ever puts you in the same sentence with his mom- not "damn you cant cook like my momma" but..."
**The guys said a combination of at least three of these and you're in there!
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